Underwater Exploration

I did my first dives of 2008 on January 20 at the Blue Hole. The sun was out, but just like December 30, the wind was blowing. We set up a makeshift shelter again so that we could get out of the wind between dives. All went pretty good. I tried out a new undergarment, which worked great, I found the hole in my drysuit and I now have it patched up, and I utilized some of the tips I received on the proper usage of a p-valve and things went much smoother in that area. The only thing that I may be concerned about in the future is making sure that I have the condom catheter situated properly because as I was …erm… “going” it felt like the condom was ballooning up with urine and finally it went out the valve. I think the tube on the condom was kinked, making it more difficult for the urine to travel out the tube. All and all it was a good day. I look forward to more diving as the year progresses…

1. Depth: 81 feet – Run Time: 38 minutes
2. Depth: 66 feet – Run Time: 36 minutes

The Trials and Tribulations of using a P-valve

So I recently installed a p-valve on my drysuit. That was a hard thing to do because it required me to poke a hole into a perfectly good drysuit and hope that it didn’t leak during my first dive that I used it. For those non-divers reading this, I p-valve is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a device that you connect to your penis via a condom catheter and has a tube that runs to a valve that discharges into the water. A drysuit is also what it sounds like. It’s a suit that keeps you dry (or it’s supposed to anyway) during a dive and is mostly used in colder water. You wear undergarments under the suit for thermal protection and that’s what actually keeps you warm during the dive. So hopefully you now understand my concern with poking a hole into my drysuit. I mean, what good is a drysuit if it’s not going to keep you dry, right? At that same time, without a p-valve, you don’t want to pee while diving because it’s effectively the same as peeing in your pants and that is a little embarrassing to do when you are a full grown man. Hence the need for a p-valve. I finally got the courage to actually put a hole into my drysuit a couple weeks ago and managed to carefully install the p-valve being sure to seal up the hole with some aquarium silicone. I then plugged up the wrist and neck seals and blew it up like the Michelin Man to do a leak test on the suit. To my joy the suit held air and I was fairly confident that my suit wouldn’t leak on my next dive.

Fast forward to December 30, I met with some of the usual suspects for diving in Santa Rosa and this was going to be the first time that I got to try out my newly installed p-valve and hope that I didn’t flood my suit with water and/or urine in the process. It was a blistering cold weekend with a ass cold north wind that wouldn’t let up. We got geared up and ready to go diving. It was easy to spot me trying to put the condom on my limp noodle because I had my back turned to everybody and hunched over trying to get everything situated. While I’m experienced with condom usage, I’ve never had to do it while my little diver wasn’t at attention, so it was a bit of a new experience. We walked into the water about chest deep and I was just waiting for the suit to suddenly spring a leak and fill up with water that was warmer than the surrounding air, but not warm enough that I really felt like being wet. I sat there for a few seconds and was relieved that I was still dry. My buddies and I started our dive and about 10 minutes into the dive my right arm felt wet. Ugh.. How ironic is it that the one place that I did NOT poke a hole in my suit is the place that it decides to leak? So I feel on my arm and you could practically hear the “slosh slosh” sounds in my suit. I took out my trusty wet notes and wrote “My arm is wet” and showed my buddy. He acknowledged and we decided to surface together while letting the other guys continue the dive. We did a nice ascent and exited the water.

Upon doffing my gear I started looking at my wrist seal on my suit. GREAT… I have a hole in my suit! So I break out my save-a-dive box and get some neoprene cement and dab a little bit on my seal hoping that I can prevent anymore leaking for the rest of the day. Soon after that the remaining buddies surfaced and we huddled up around the propane heater trying to warm up in the makeshift shack we made from wrapping tarps around a picnic awning. During this time I was also wringing water out of the arm of my undergarments trying to get it to somewhat dry up…

So during the second dive I hardly noticed water entering my my suit and I was happy with that… Half way during the dive I noticed that I needed to pee… Woohoo! This is the moment that I’ve been waiting for! So I loosen the bolt sealing the p-valve and I hover motionless for a few moments waiting to relieve myself. I’m sure my buddies behind me were wondering what I was doing because I wasn’t moving at all, just hanging motionless in the water column like a piece of particulate. Nothing… Not a drop… OK, this is a little unnerving. I guess that my little diver is being a little gun shy. So I leave the bolt open and continue with the dive thinking that maybe he will get his nerve up and just start spewing. We ended the dive and nothing… What is up little man? Usually you are begging me for relief and today you have your chance, but nothing? This is a little frustrating. So we walk over to our picnic area and start doffing gear and all the sudden I feel a sudden relief… There I am just peeing in front of everybody. Ahhh.. That felt good.. At least I know now that my suit didn’t leak around the newly punctured hole for the p-valve installation and I know that the p-valve is functioning properly too… Hopefully my little diver will become less gun shy following more dives.

After those two dives we decided to call it a day.. We were just too damned cold between dives to really enjoy the diving. It was so cold that between the first and second dive I was scratching my hand, but I couldn’t feel it because my hands were numb… Ugh..

So those were my last dives for 2007. Happy new year!

1. Depth: 76ft – Runtime: 23minutes
2. Depth: 77ft – Runtime: 37minutes